lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
There r osticjed everywhere
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
