Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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