Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
