I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
