Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
