I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
