Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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