gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
