grandma shit on top of the toilet
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
