she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Randomize
