I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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