dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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