Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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