eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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