Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
where are you?
Hypothermia
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Randomize
