So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
