He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
