I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are going to name an STD after you.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize