Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
