the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
