did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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