I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
