ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
it was like eating out sand paper
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
