Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal

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(303): View more from Colorado

Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store

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(254): View more from Texas

I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.

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(334): View more from Alabama

He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.

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(513): View more from Ohio

Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.

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(925): View more from California

You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.

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