he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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