do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
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Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
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"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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