After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
