even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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