So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
