Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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