Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
