is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
