I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
