so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize