I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
