On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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