Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
