He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize