there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
