yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
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She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Walk of Shame today included voting.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
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So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
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