your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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