U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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