what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
