I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
