you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
