How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
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You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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