I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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