i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
