We need to rekindle our bromance
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
