I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
