Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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