Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize