member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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