Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
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