I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
