Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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