my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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