The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
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