Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
