so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
