Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
