i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
