it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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