Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Screwed.edu
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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